When I was still a toddler, obviously long before any conscious knowledge of sex, I experienced my first kundalini awakening while riding my tricycle which proved orgasmic and opened my third eye to visions of myself as a mermaid entwined with my male counterpart as we swam in warm freshwater pools open to the clear blue sky in a quartz canyon. Then I shapeshifted into a centaur galloping with wild abandon alongside my mate in a fragrant meadow surrounded by hills covered with lush tall pines. And finally, I was a princess, riding next to my prince in a glass-domed gilded carriage drawn by a team of magnificent white stallions across a drawbridge lined with cheering people as we approached a monolithic castle. The imagery always occurred in that exact order: mermaid to centaur to human.
Of course, I had no concept of an orgasm, and terms like kundalini and twin flame weren’t in my family’s lexicon. Nonetheless, I spent a great deal of time on my tricycle in a state of orgasmic bliss. This was obviously a solo experience. Still, it evoked a nearly unbearable longing for my romantic partner long before I understood what that was. Also, I was extremely shy, so I barely talked to boys, ensuring that puppy love was nowhere on the horizon, and even after I began dating, I remained for the most part in my imaginary kingdom.
I married young. After eleven years, I divorced and entered into a series of ill-fated love affairs before taking a vow of celibacy. The promise of union with my twin flame seemed like an unattainable mirage, and the majority of my life has been spent in solitude, without a partner, and with no desire to date.
As the fourth keeper of this sacred living temple, I am also a guardian of the memories each predecessor stored in the DNA, along with the pre-existing ancestral data that infused me with love of family as I took up residence. The operation was seamless. I was, for all intents and purposes, the same person my family had always known, but there was an indefinable difference that I’m sure my sister noticed. Highly intuitive, she may well have been aware of each change of the guard, but it’s something we’ve never discussed because, thirty-plus years into my residency, I am still groping for words.
Beyond memory, there is a Field of Knowing which is devoid of all sensory perception. I can’t speak for other walk-ins, but I am very challenged by the task of articulating experiences that occur in this field because, unlike the astral plane, where the senses are fully engaged, the Field of Knowing is a void where knowledge is direct. There’s no light shining upon an object that reveals the truth and there’s no narrative to define it. We, the four keepers of the temple, met in this void where the planetary positions mathematically determined the precise time and place on earth where we could assist, and we agreed upon our terms of service.
So, Janell Ann Gillett was born, one month before her scheduled arrival, at the exact time and place that provided all the conditions the keepers needed to fulfill the promise made in the void, and three of us went about our business until our appointed times. My appointment began when Jan was forty-one. Two years later, I went to the DMV and changed the name on my driver’s license to Briah Jardin. The numerology adds up to 11:11.
Though I carry Jan’s memories, I do not have access to the memories of the other keepers except those they stored in her DNA. Please bear I mind, I am attempting to put into words an agreement that occurred without words, but I will do my best. We, the four keepers, each carry the vibratory signature of the number 9—The Hermit of the Tarot—which among other things portends endings. We came to finalize processes that were both personal and transpersonal, and Jan’s horoscope provided the means to that end for each of us. The North Node at 29 degrees Gemini in the eighth house and the South Node at 29 degrees Sagittarius in the third house were primary indicators of the work we would undertake.
Death and sexuality are eighth house affairs whereas communication is the primary characteristic of both Gemini and of the third house which, in this case, is dominated by the Sagittarian demand for Truth. Jan’s first brush with death occurred at the age of twelve with the onset of menstruation. The next encounter came during her first Saturn return when her sexual organs were surgically removed, and the third occurred when breast cancer metastasized in the lung—that's the segment I agreed to. This is but a broad outline that emphasizes the sex and death aspects that provided opportunities for us to walk-in, but the communication of Truth regarding sexuality defines the work. Aside from vibrating to The Hermit frequency, the four keepers carry the often-overlooked Truth that sex is sacred because it is the conduit of Life. Our mutual commitment to this Truth, and the memories we've created and stored, have made continuity as a single entity possible.
Now I have a partner. The vow of celibacy was renounced long ago, but with the exception of one relationship that lasted a year, the next twenty passed without so much as a date. Is my partner my twin flame? Here is my best answer to that question: my understanding of the twin flame phenomenon has changed dramatically over time, and though I won't say he isn't—at the very least he is my soul mate—it's truer to say that I am my own twin flame. As I reflect back upon my infantile longings, I see that my tricycle rides unwittingly coaxed my male energy out of dormancy in short bursts. Since this experience always coincided with orgasm, I placed unrealistic expectations on sexual relationships to keep me in a constant state of awakened kundalini. I have only to look at my long periods of celibacy to realize the ridiculousness of my presumption because I frequently reach the desired state of consciousness all by myself through meditation. I am ever The Hermit.
Recently I discovered an amazing young clairvoyant on YouTube who has come to the same conclusion about twin flames. But she has so much more to say! Her name is Aluna Ash. I hope you'll click here to check out her channel.
Continue to the next chapter
Go back to the beginning
