CHAPTER 4—AWAKENING

Thirty years ago, my recovery from metastatic breast cancer was considered a medical miracle that astounded my doctors and unmistakably confirmed my calling as a healer. For two reasons, I chose to become a massage therapist. The first reason was easy to talk about. I had received regular therapeutic massage during my recovery process, and I knew it was the catalyst that rendered my medical treatments effective, but I rarely spoke of the second reason, which totally resonated with my life purpose of restoring the sanctity of human sexuality.

Though it was never my experience, I know people who’ve been sexually violated on the massage table—and I’ve even encountered therapists who chose the profession because it afforded opportunity—so I consecrated my massage table as a sacred altar where my clients would always feel safe. In the safety of that sacred space, many clients spontaneously purged the sexual violations they'd endured.

When I was new to the work, messages from Jesus and Mother Mary frequently came through to comfort my clients.  But once I was able to activate instantaneous alignment between myself and my oversoul, the work nearly always proceeded in total silence, and post-treatment conversations with my clients revealed a far deeper release without any drama.

I imagine you may be wondering, how did I perceive my oversoul? Good question.

She is a luminous Black Madonna, so enormous in stature that my body is fully contained in the space between her ankles. Her feet are bare, and she wears a white turban on her head, clasped on one side with a pin fashioned of small turquoise and malachite stones wrapped in silver. A simple unadorned gown of white linen drapes her ample frame. And her hands emit the healing light of unconditional love for all humanity. To this day, she has never uttered a word, and I cannot name her.

Alignment with my beautiful Black Madonna was automatic during interactions with my clients, but social situations sometimes presented challenges I fumbled through. My faux pas came to a climax in a spiritual setting where I witnessed the group leader misusing his sexual energy by literally lassoing women at random with thick orange strands emanating from his second chakra. He was not necessarily attracted to these ladies, but the lasso ensured their attraction to him, and he fed off of their energy. I'd witnessed this same scenario numerous times in other settings and said nothing, but this time was different because I was caught in his net, so I decided to speak up.

He was very surprised that I was aware of his shenanigans but readily admitted to the accuracy of my perceptions, and despite the awkward circumstances, I fostered a friendship because I remembered an intense past life relationship with him (click here to read). Our connection, which had never been romantic, eventually came to an abrupt end when he said he never wanted to see or hear from me again. Shocked to my core, I couldn't make sense of his rejection, but once I worked through my grief, I understood.

It was the sexual energy. As stated above, I was one of many women randomly caught in his net. He had no romantic interest in me, and I certainly had no desire to seduce him, but I did seize upon the rare opportunity to practice a tantric technique I'd received in meditation which I call the Fantasy Bypass. The situation was rare only because I hadn't felt sexual attraction for many years, and it's a required component of the practice. Bypassing fantasy allowed me to enjoy the rising kundalini without desiring so much as a kiss. During the course of our friendship, he acquired a girlfriend who became jealous, despite the fact that I posed no threat whatsoever.

My first faux pas was exposure. It wasn't my job to call him out, and doing so led to confusion and misunderstandings that hurt his girlfriend and ultimately terminated a friendship I valued. I'm not suggesting that exposure has no validity—the #MeToo Movement was long overdue—but I know for a fact that my friend felt judged by my observation, and judgment does not heal. I am a healer.

I'm telling this story only because it relates to my life purpose of restoring the sanctity of human sexuality. Despite my fumble, I understood that sexual attraction may be inappropriate but it is never wrong. When it arises inappropriately, we have the power and the responsibility to engage the Fantasy Bypass (next chapter). Then, if we choose, we can use the breath to pump the kundalini up the spinal column and enjoy a blissful state of consciousness without violating anyone on any level. Properly used, this is an invaluable tool. One word of caution, however, which I learned the hard way. Keep it to yourself! When we're friends with a guy, it's easy to lose sight of that fact that he's not a girlfriend, and by telling this guy about the technique I'd mastered, I instigated a colossal misunderstanding. 


was already forty-three when I began my healing practice which still provided a limited source of income through my mid-sixties. Now that I'm retired, The Hermit holds full sway. But even in the absence of a social life, I cannot escape the news of human trafficking, sexual abuse in our religious institutions which has been covered up for centuries, and the grave misuse of sexual power in our homes, schools, and workplaces. Awareness of the magnitude of human suffering on this planet due to sexual misguidance has given me the opportunity to expand my healing practice exponentially. In solitude, I hold every person who comes to mind—victim and perpetrator alike—in the pure template of male/female polarity in the Realm of the Archangels where innocence is restored. Of course, there's no money in it, but my story is an invitation. If you feel called, please join me in this labor of love. It's easy! And if you're reading this, I know you're capable. God bless!

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